Those Elusive Reviews

Chiang Mai, Thailand

15/3/2014

Like most indie writers I have difficulty in garnering reviews. It seems readers just don’t like getting down to writing them; and I’m no different. Reading a book is, usually, an enjoyable experience, but writing a review of it, a proper one, is demanding, taxing, and can even be bloody hard work.

I’ve just finished Elmore Leonard’s Raylan, a terrific read and his last book as he passed away last year. I read it in paperback which will always be a little better than on screen. And Leonard on top of his game is pure pleasure. Nevertheless, as much as I loved it, to sit down and craft a fitting, worthy review would take effort. Fortunately, since I bought it in a Montreal bookstore, I don’t have to make that effort.

Two years ago, an Irish friend purchased my novel, The Iran Deception online from Amazon. She liked it and said so in emails. I reminded her how good it would be if she wrote a review for me. "I surely will, Tony," she told me; but the review never came. I gently pushed her on it a couple of times and then gave up. Audrey has a family, a husband and three children. She works. She also went through a long period of unemployment for a while; like the rest of us, she struggles. So, reading for Audrey is done in snatches between chores. Writing a review would be a monumental effort for her that just won’t happen. Bless her.

Another fellow recently bought my book of short stories, Down and Out in the Big Mango. He loved it and wrote me an email full of praise. I’ve now asked him twice in emails to write a review for me, but as yet it hasn’t materialized. It’s just the way it is.

And then there are "the reviewers"; men and women who read and review books. I have had no luck at all with those. I was given a list of reviewers and emailed each one requesting reviews. Many simply didn’t reply. Those that did had conditions, such as the genres they read, or don’t read, that one had to comply with. I complied and was placed on waiting lists (“You’re fifteen on my reading list,” one said.) but I somehow got lost in their system.

The problem with “professional” reviewers is they must, inevitably, develop a sense of self importance. Like literary agents, they become gurus; experts in their field and difficult to engage especially for the beginning writer.

I can recall reading of the power wielded by certain New York theatre critics. A bad review of an off-Broadway show or play from them in the pages of the New York Times could kill any producer's hopes of getting it into a Broadway Theatre, or even close down the production. How’s that for show-stopping power?

Do I write reviews? Yes, I do, but only good ones. If I like a book I will write a review for it praising its virtues and recommending it. I won’t write a bad review. If I don’t like the book, or I think it’s very poor, I simply won’t write a review for it. And the reason is this. Writing a book is an achievement in itself. It’s hard work. A man or woman who sits down and puts heart and soul into producing a book deserves credit, a firm handshake and a solid pat on the back. “Well done,” I say. “And good luck.” But if it turns out poor, or badly wrought, I simply stop reading and put it aside. I do that with paperbacks as well. To write a 2 star review for someone whose put in hard work would be cruel; in my view poor reviews don't encourage a writer they discourage.

A couple of years ago I picked up a paperback novel, a thriller, set in Bangkok. It was, trite, turgid and boring. It took a good third of the book to get us to Bangkok, with page after page of leaden dialogue, heavy with f… word expletives. The denouement was outrageous; I just couldn’t suspend my disbelief. It was an effort to finish it. But the book is a big seller on Amazon Kindle and has reviews ranging from one to five. In my heart I sided with the 2 star reviews. In my opinion it was poorly written tripe. But I believe the writer worked hard, did his best and meant well. I simply wouldn’t review such a book. And yet there is a huge market for stuff like that.

Many books written are exploitive of the market. They are packed with gratuitous sex and violence designed to sell and make money by appealing to the lowest common denominator. Those books sell big and the writers make good money. Just as there are bad writers, there are also bad readers who love this trash. Just look at the empire that Jackie Collins has built. And these books also get reviews, poorly written mind, but five star nevertheless. Writing junk pays.

That’s one of the reasons I like Amazon’s “See inside…..” feature. You get to see at least the beginning of what you’re buying. And I like to think I have what Hemingway termed "a built in shit detector" and so most times I don’t buy. I don’t want to read such books. So there we are, writers needing reviews and seeking new ways of getting them and readers avoiding writing them. I saw a Tweet the other day; an Irish writer was offering free books in exchange for reviews; that’s a new angle on review buying. I guess some people have no shame. I’ll wait awhile, try hard by fair means, and hope.